How many times has that headline been used? How often should it be used? I write with a heavy heart this morning for as we speak, BIL is clinging to life in an ER at St. John’s Hospital. Terri’s mother called last night to tell us that he was taken to the ER due to problems associated with his diabetes and that it was very serious. At 1:30 am this morning, she called and told Terri that she had better come to the hospital, the situation had worsened. He is not awake and is on full life support, as I said, clinging to life by a thread.
Can you see the pain in the tears I weep? kristen scanlon
I sometimes wonder about being created in the image of God, I wonder if He too sees the pain in the tears I weep. Terri and I often talk about how hard life is, regardless of who you are or where you are; all humans suffer in some form or fashion. It is so frustrating to see things that are beyond your control, beyond your ability to help, beyond your ability to comphrehend. You ask why? a million times and the answer is always the same.
Suffering is a part of our very existence I think – we often lay exclusive claim to it as followers of Christ because of His sacrifice for us – but it is the same for all of us, believers or not. Our class is going to be studying suffering for the next five weeks and this morning I found this quote by Victor Frankl:
What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.
How, you ask, does this relate to BIL clinging to life? Because if I had not taken the risk to love him deeply, truly, then I would not be feeling the depth of despair that I do now. One thing that I have overcome is my belief that conflict is to be avoided at all cost, that life should be flatlined. How often do we risk true love? Not very, I think. I think most of our relationships are superficial and seldom reach the level of true love because of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of loss. Fear of joy. It seems to me after observing all types, flavors and colors of humans that fear is the single most influential factor in their lives. Mine included. Three years ago, I stepped beyond that fear and brought this wonderful man into my heart. It has truly been a roller coaster ride since; you cannot love someone without allowing them to show you their true self and that isn’t always pretty. BIL has taught me so much about grace, so much about joy, so much about living today. Love is worth the risk.
the hour is dark, as I face tomorrow. I lay at Your feet my aching sorrow.
[…] news yesterday from BIL. He has managed to gain enough movement in three fingers to want to play the guitar again in our class. The miracle that is BIL continues to amaze. […]