I thought the morning

went pretty well. Started off rough enough; I got into a pissy little mood for no reason at all. Actually, it was probably because I was nervous singing in church. Not sure why I get nervous, I’ve done it quite a few times by now in my life. Still get those butterflies; makes my voice shaky at times (hmm, wonder if I could call that a vibrato?).

Anyways, had to revert to a karaoke song today (long story for another time). It worked out alright, sang “Home Where I Belong”. Seemed appropriate given the number of church members that have moved on this year. Gerry, Pete and Jean were the ones I was closest with. Mr. Fonville’s wife, plus others. Pop had asked me to sing this at Gerry’s funeral, I told him I couldn’t without breaking into tears. Gerry did like that song. I actually broke out in tears as I was practicing it last night. I think because I was so much younger, I was able to block the memory of my real mom when she passed away, so much so that now it seems more like dreams than reality. With my being older and not so inhibited, the memories of Gerry are quite real. I do miss her. Uh-oh, here I go again. I don’t miss anything in particular, just miss the fact that we can’t go to lunch or that I don’t see her in the hallways at church or that she isn’t telling me how great I am (really miss that one).

Sunday School was mixed. I sucked during the opening department time, too much into myself and not ready to really worship. I need to remember that. We had a couple visiting that had just joined the church, they bailed on us after the group time. Just goes to show that there is a need for both types of classes, single gender and mixed. I thought the guys had good observations today. I tried to really challenge them to look inward at themselves and see if they were real or acting. It’s so easy to get caught up in play acting as Christians sometimes. The real question that we need to answer is this: are we changing and becoming more Christ centered as we go about our daily lives? If not, what are we doing? And why are we doing it? As I have observed our group over the past 2 years, it is apparent that some are changing and some are not. The challenge today was for those who are not to become the person that God intended for them to be. I know that I have made progress towards that goal and I want to help others down that same road.