human mind works but I sure would like a clue as to why mine works the way it does. After such a spectacular weekend, you’d have thought that I wouldn’t succomb to my FUD’s so quickly, but in what seemed like the blink of an eye, there I was yesterday, all filled with anxiety and stress. Unbelievable.
It seemed as though, within one hour or so, my whole world was caving in. I did manage to call my friend, SU, and asked her for help and prayer but that was about all I managed to do. It just seems so bizarre that my mind can turn like that. But last night at dinner, SU said something that, for the first time I think, made sense to me. Usually when she talks about spiritual warfare, I kinda roll my eyes and dismiss the subject. But last night she framed it in such a way that I couldn’t just dismiss it out of hand, I had to consider the truth of her statement.
As I was relating my day, how the morning was so bright and cheery, full of life, how I was completely stoked about the weekend and the fact that I was able to share in God’s work, then how a congruence of events happened within a short period of time that made me completely anxious, she said that those times are exactly the times that Satan will choose to attack. For if he can stop the high that you have from doing God’s work, he has accomplished his mission. And he is so powerful, he knows your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. And those are the exact areas that I felt anxious about yesterday. If this was a spiritual attack, as I’m inclined to believe, it was masterfully done.
Any single event that occurred yesterday could not have stolen my joy. Any single event could not have brought me down, made me feel inferior, anxious, defeated. But the combination of many small events did just that. And I haven’t been able to shake that feeling for almost 24 hours, try as I might. Pray as I might. Beg as I might.
I teach my guys weekly to turn to other men in the class during times like this and I did the same this morning, asking JM to pray for me. I’ll do the same now with those of you that read these little notes, if you are a believer, pray for me. Just a simple prayer – that my anxiety will be released and that I will just trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to take care of my every need.